Meet a Mythical Creature Who is a Darn Good Marketer

Stamas Bro Aristotle (left) comes to NYC to work with Stamas Bro Homer (to the right of BigFoot Zombie) on a marketing campaign for the new website “How to Get New Customers” at

The Inside Scoop About BFZ

If we told you that this, our campaign about launching our website, was done by the Stamas Bros and a mythical creature known as BigFoot Zombie, you probably wouldn’t believe us. But let’s put it this way. Even though BigFoot Zombie is in the shadows of Bigfoot, truth be told he is the marketer who made Bigfoot (his second cousin twice removed) a household name. Here is the kind of dialogue that we might have about it:

HTGMC (How to Get More Customers)

So you don’t believe that BigFoot Zombie can have a talent for advertising let alone he exist? We at HTGMC (product placement) believe in innovation in publicity and marketing, so for our debut into the world of the internet, we want people’s first impression of “How to Get More Customers,” here at (all out plug) to be that we are innovators and can take on any odd commercials you may see currently on your TV.

BigFootZombies don’t exist and why, if you’re going to hire someone who isn’t real to do your promotions, would you pick a BigFoot ZOMBIE instead of an actual BIGFOOT? The answer is “no” because you couldn’t afford him. He’s so well known he’s even in an online dictionary being defined as “…a large, hairy, ape-like creature resembling a yeti, supposedly found in northwestern America.”

For a moment we at HTGMC are stunned and taken by surprise. We had not really thought it through why we selected BigFoot Zombie, rather than a Bigfoot, who is probably better known and therefore may be more persuasive to the public. We were horrified to think that the spokesperson we had selected, BFZ isn’t even listed in most online dictionaries! Then an insight occurs to us:

Listen Ms. and Mr. Naysayer, we picked BigFoot Zombie instead of his second cousin once removed ( just plain old Bigfoot), because we think that BFZ is more original and interesting to our audience and therefore will make them more likely to check out “How to Get More Customers. Plus, BigFoot Zombie brings with him the Stamas Bros to the table and we are giant fans of the Bros. Well maybe not that big. We like them. Sort of.

And that would be that.